I meditate every day. At my 29th birthday, I stayed silent for the day, and decided to chant every morning and every night, for one year. It’s the first time I take such a commitment. It’s been a bit more than 6 months now.Last week, I meditated for a longer period.
I came to a very familiar place, a place of fear. It’s a very interesting fear that I encounter when I chant for a long time. There is no reason behind that fear, there is no object. There is a weird image forming in my mind, and there is a feeling of a presence, observing me, or simply being there with me. This time, it really felt like ghostly presence. Long face, whitish suffering. It’s the first time I came to that point here in montreal in my new apartment. I kind of like that place of fear, but I am also wondering if there is more to it. For me the fear is a simple reaction of my ego not wanting me to deepen my practice, but there is also an understanding that maybe something else is opening.Are these fear real entity that I can feel once I am in a deeper meditation state? I don’t know, but it motivate me to meditate more and experiment with all that.